I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
