the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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