Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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