I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
