I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
