My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
there's paper in my vomit.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
