White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
