but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
