Midget sex pt 2 tonight
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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