? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
