Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
