I wannas sexs uuuuu
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
