i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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