I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Come on in and take your pants off
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