What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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