Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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