Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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