I accidentally had phone sex last night
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I supernannyed him into submission
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
