I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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