Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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