I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
