I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He better not be in your backpack
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
