I will die if light touches me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
