It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
youre lurking in front of me
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
