Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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