You really coming over, don't trick.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
