Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
