I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize