I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
