Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
