Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
