I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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