She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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