You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize