meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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