I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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