you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize