Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
