Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
