somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
