We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
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