Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
