I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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