I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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