NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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