If i come over, it means nothing
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
