quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize