His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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