hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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