I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
bring money and cleavage
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
