did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
