She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
