she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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