I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
