it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
well you can't waste a boner
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
