I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
