from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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