remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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