Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
