My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
