Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize