Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
not ubering you a puppy
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
