Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
